REVISION STRATEGIES
1:
Revison strategy
strengths for my thesis on supermarket in Califorina are information on author and the poet he is writing about as well as understanding where the writer was coming from in his what the author is meaning while writing this poem. My weaknesses are not having a very good conclusion. also good of expanded on the time in the supermarket with Whitman,more meaning to the poem.
2:
Immigrants Revision
In writing my essay on Immigrants I would try to have a more detailed thesis statement, I also need to lengthen and be more descriptive with it so that a clear thesis statement is made.
In preparing to write my 3 paragraphs, I would need to make sure I include in the first paragraph my mini thesis, so that it connects with my intro.
I need to be more descriptive with my quotes, showing evidence and analyzing that evidence so that it ties into my thesis statement and correlates with the entire essay.
I also need to break up my paragraphs so that a 3 paragraphs can be clearly noted, and again tie in my thesis in all 3 paragraphs.
In conclusion I need again to tie in my thesis statement, my analysis and hopefully anything else I forgot.
INFORMAL OUTLINE:
1:
Introduction: The secret life of Walter Mitty by James Thurber 1939.
Great fiction story.Goes inside the mind of a man who was a war hero and great doctor in his prime of life.
who now cant remember what his wife wants him to buy at the store and who is always telling him what to do.
paragraph 1-The story begins in the middle of a war and Mitty is a hero quickly turns into him driving a car and his wife yelling at him
to slow down.apparent he was in another place and time in his mind.
paragraph 2- Then story continues Mitty drops off his wife at beauty shop while he is suppose to be shopping.As he drives off see hospital.
His mind goes back to being a surgeon and being asked to help with a hard case and being a hero.-Then Mitty returns trying to remember what he is suppose to buy. and his mind goes to a court room where once again he is a hero.He defends a women who is being treated wrong.
Paragraph 3- towards end of the story Mitty finally stands up to his wife who always talks down to him and bosses him around."Does it ever occur to you that i am sometimes thinking".(150) wife just thinks something is wrong with him for saying that to her. she ask him to wait for her while she checks on something and while he is waiting he goes back to his world were he is facing a firing squad .perfect and motionless,proud and disdainful 'Walter Mitty the undefeated,indstructable to the last.(159,160,161) I think this scene means Walter Mitty Has accepted who he was and who he is now.
2:
Secret life of Walter Mitty
The fantasy world is more exciting that real world events
Driving a car vs. maneuvering a Naval hydroplane
Putting regular gloves on and off vs. wearing drs gloves
Smoking a cigarette vs. having last smoke before a firing squad
3:
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
The story of “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” can seem very confusing, however it becomes clear that the setting is going back and forth from past to present tense. While reading the story it becomes clear to see that Walter Mitty suffers from post traumatic stress disorder.
In the beginning of the story the speaker brings us into a navy aircraft during a storm, there is mayhem with people shouting orders. Mitty takes control and is cool and collected a take charge kind of man. “The Old Man’ll get us through,” they said to one another. “The Old Man ain’t afraid of Hell!” (22-23). Then we are back in the present, and poor old man Mitty is taking orders from his wife, he is not a young, fearless commander. Mitty an aging man who must listen to his wife complain about his driving, his gloves not being on, and his need for snow shoes.
While driving in his car to go do what his wife has ordered him to do, Mitty again goes to his past in a state of post traumatic stress to a time where he was a doctor in the navy. A well respected man, a doctor that everyone looks up to, “If you would take over, Mitty?” (79). this was something that he was accustomed to being asked, since he was so well regarded by his peers in the navy, it was not unheard of to have Dr Mitty assist in the operating room.
Yet again, he is yanked back to the present, where old man Mitty has to go shopping to buy his snow shoes, and? What else, if only he could remember. Mitty goes through his list of household things that he might’ve been told to get however, nothing sticks. Back to the past we go, this time Mitty is sitting, cool, calm and collected in a court room. Murder is what he is accused of, no fear though. He makes it loud and clear that he could’ve killed the victim if he wanted to without a problem. Mitty is a sharp shot at any distance and using any hand. Then he remembers, it was dog biscuits he needed to buy!
In the end Mitty does what he is supposed to do, what his wife orders him to do. Gone are the days of the tough, cool, sharp navy leader, what is left is an aging man who can only remember and think of his days when he was in charge, when he was the ruler, when he was someone important; not to everyone around him but to himself.
4:
Araby
by: James Joyce
In the “Araby “, James writes of a young mans adoration of the young girl next door.
He lays on the floor and watches for her through a blind that is but an inch from the sash.
She speaks to him and he cannot remember what he says.
He daydreams of her at school.
He goes to the Araby Bazaar to bring her something back.
It is too late the stalls are closed and the lights go out.
He has nothing to bring to her.
REVISED WORK:
April showers bring May flowers. Ooh, the anticipation of spring. The much sought after arrival of spring is apparent in E. E. Cummings poem 'In Just'. The spring season is described in this poem using imagery and diction associated with spring.
First, spring has a particular smell. Spring has a very distinct fresh smell. In Cummings poem, he describes spring as 'mud-/lucious'(2-3). Even though mud is usually associated as being dirty, the use of the term 'mud-/lucious' conveys the opposite idea (2-3). Mud is a result of rain. The scent of rain is very clean. So in turn, 'mud-/lucious' would be a very desirable scent.
Next, sprimg exubes a certain positive energy. Cummings relays this energy when he writes 'eddieandbill' together to project excitement (6-7). This gives the diction of the boys renewed energy at the start of the spring season. The reader can feel this excitement with this writing style.
Finally, spring also has a certain look. Cummings describes the look of spring when he writes 'bettyandisbel come dancing' and 'balloonman whistles'. The girls dancing relays the imagery of happiness (12)(14). And the balloonman in the act of whistling also projects a happy time. People dance and whistle when they are happy.
